The dividing line..

Why do I jump the fence?
Only to fall deep into the ocean that it protects.
Swimming against the currents that surround me.
The waters that appear so beautiful, clear and blue,
pacifying me with their soothing notes,
now are despicably salty, and burn my senses.
Now, back out of the water,
I try hard to jump back over the fence.
It seems higher - so much more difficult to jump back over
than it was to jump in..
The ocean had drained me.
I dared not look back lest the waters lure me in again..
But, now believing I can jump back over,
I try, with all my might,
and, possibly, succeed.
I cannot look back again.
I must not.
For if I do, I shall once again feel drawn to it,
mesmerising as it is on the other side of the fence..
But, I fear for myself - for I won't survive again.
I shall only drown and lose myself,
never to be able to find myself again.
I grip the fence tight.
I look back at the ocean.
For no matter how hard I try,
it's memories remain with eyes closed.
I must see it. Watch it's graceful waves.
Stare into it's beauty, yet feel my hand bleed,
a perfect compliment to my heart.
For I dare not jump over again.
Why should I jump over the fence?
Why...do I want to again??