November

Isn't it weird how your mind, your heart and the world seem to play tricks with you sometimes.. You have routines. You have procedures. Then suddenly, something comes up that redirects the flow, breaks the mould. You wonder how it happened, but it just did. And then, as suddenly as it arrived, it's gone again. And you're back to embracing monotony.

November of 2010 has been an unusual month. Apart from the freak weather, on a more personal level. So many things have happened for the first time for me. Yes, I was excited, but afraid at the same time. I was flying far, and would be in an all new world. The customs, the procedures, no they didn't really bother me. It was the fear of return to the place I come from, and know, not too well, because the more I come to know, the lesser I wish I did. But it all happened smoothly. I went. I saw. I drove. I had a good break, but was exhausted at the same time. For me, coming from a land where Tatas and Marutis are 3 out of 4 cars, it was an out-of-the-world experience to see Protons and Nissans flooding view. Yes, I drove amazing cars back to back on amazing (and not so amazing) roads, but I was amongst people with great traffic sense and respect for the rules. Something I was not at all used to. Overall, a great experience, and one I will never forget.

This year was a turning point. Not just for me, for my friends as well. There were some won, some lost, and yet more acquired. A wise one once said, people come into your life either for a reason, a season or a lifetime. They will come, and they will go. Sometimes, it's too soon to even notice, but sometimes, they stay a little longer, and then disappear, *just like that*. Then again, some stay on, and whether you realise or not, they're there. And always have been. Then again, it's those you see with your eyes closed that get your attention more than those you see with your eyes open. Cos when they're open, you're just lost looking into the crowd.

It takes some getting used to. And when I think about it, I guess I can never get used to it. I can't. I can't let go of people who have meant something to me at any point in my life. They can't just leave. If there was an altercation, or a bitter experience of some sort, those are different. But those who just, you know, go away, without warning, without intimation, or even without a clue. You just have to deal with it. Cos that makes the most sense amongst all your other options, which, sometimes, change with time. It's never a happy moment. Yes, the memories remain, but then again, sometimes, that's not good enough. It never is.

And then you hope. Hope leads to belief. Belief leads to patience. And patience is a virtue. Of course, not everyone has it. Me included. But yet, I tend to hope more, believe slowly, and be even less patient, but that's something that can be developed. What, with all the experience..